it takes a village, people.

Seven pills a day. Three to four meetings a week. One guided meditation, three times a week. Four other addicts who I call/text regularly. Five afternoon naps during the course of a workweek. 10,000 to 18,000 steps per day walking. As of May 27, 2017 those are the numbers. The numbers I need to keep […]

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The Battle of Bitterville

A pot of lavender on your patio. The guy who stands on the corner who sings Motown covers. A shaggy black dog in the elevator. The smell of waffle cones wafting out of a downtown ice cream shop. A text from another sober person who just wants to let you know they’re thinking about you. […]

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a path to the rainbow’s end

So long ago It’s a certain time It’s a certain place Not everybody I know who got sober drank at work. Not everybody I know who got sober did drugs at work. But I certainly did. As did my favorite rock goddess Stevie Nicks. Stevie also slept with Tom Petty and wore shawls to work, […]

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a job well done

Blink and you probably missed International Firefighter’s Day on May 4th. Likewise, you might have missed Secretary’s Day on April 26 or Teacher’s Day this past Tuesday, May 9. But don’t worry. There’s always Labor Day which sort of celebrates all kinds of workers in a big lump. Being a festive alcoholic by nature, I […]

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standard bitch

Everybody has something they bring to the table. Even people who are awful have that one thing they contribute, even if it’s just their general awfulness. Personally, that thing I can bring to the table is my sense of humor. Look, this is not some passive aggressive outcry for compliments. Jesus fuck no. I just […]

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private chanter

If I have unrealistic expectations, don’t blame me. Blame Tina Turner. Witnessing Tina Turner live and onstage at age 12 has forever warped my expectations of what mere mortals should be able to do. I thought that every woman could dance and run around for 90 minutes in 7 inch high heels (they cannot). I […]

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